round two

"maybe love stays,
maybe love can't"
and maybe love was never really there.

he turned into a part of me that i thought i needed.
which made moving day worse than the day before,
but it made the departure of his mind back in november worse than anything else.

i called him at 2 am
from the hospital.
and thats when i knew i needed my heart back.

but what i didn't realize was that he never took it.
instead he took my hand that was clutching my rapidly beating heart
and he closed my fingers.
i slammed my eyes shut because the pain was so bad,
what i couldn't see was that i could just open my fingers.
HE WAS USING MY OWN HAND TO CRUSH MY OWN HEART.

it wasn't until i peeked my right eye open just half a centimeter that i saw my own hand covered in blood,
and he was no where to be seen
but that didn't change me.
and it didn't stop me.
i allowed him to crack open my bones,
though i did plead with him to be careful.
and inside were all of the second chances i could muster.
he used them again and again
and he used me again and again.
and he barely offered half an apology,
but he had sucked the second chances out of my bones
and just kept cashing them back in.

i am just a 63 inch heart.
and i believed him each time he called.

he replaced the marrow in my bones with broken promises.
I AM MADE OF ALL OF HIS BROKEN PROMISES.
I AM MADE OF ALL OF THEIR BROKEN PROMISES.