i'm never there in the middle of the night

you deserve to be decorated like a war hero;
badges of honor covering your still-beating, slightly-off-rhythm heart
it feels more like decorating a christmas tree though,
you feel cold and stiff
and we are just decorating your carcass
with words like strong and brave
but these words mean nothing if you don't believe them.

please wake up.
and please don't be alarmed by the twinkling lights and purple hearts.