he told me so but he said that doesn't matter anymore.

i am a masochist; thats something i already know.
you are a sadist and that is something i know now.
because your lips were laced with poison and you have razorblades for a tongue and we both knew.

i will never stop loving you in the way that i love him.
i fall so hard for people who think beautiful things.
i am stuck in a dark crevice of your mind still dusting off boxes of memories and dreams just waiting for you to join me.
i'm waiting for you to ask me for mine because i have a couple dozen file folders with your name on them. to be fair, there are a few other names on there that have been crossed off because they changed their minds, i just hope you aren't one of them. (but i already know how this is going to end)

i understand that sometimes people just need to be heard.
and i am listening
and i am listening
and i am begging for you to let me listen.

i am a masochist.
you are a sadist.
and maybe that means we are perfect because for you there is nothing quite like ripping a heart to shreds and, for me, there is nothing i want more than to be the next heart in your teeth.

i see myself in two months time laying in a pool of my own blood and tears with deliriously happy memories of you dancing behind my eyelids.

i don't know why i do this because my heart is screaming that it can't take much more.
its gone 10 rounds too long in the cage and its barely hanging in there.
its been trying to build its own walls because its had enough trusting people but the heart and the brain aren't on good terms so the brain keeps giving out keys to the heart and so here we are.
here we are on the threshold of my heart. we are standing outside of my aorta and i can hear my veins protesting and my arteries are lashing out and they are threatening to shut me down.

but you plugged my ears and smiled as you took me by the hand and walked through the doorway.