my greatest fear: the future

he's the kind of  boy that you can  tell will go bald early in  life.

but he's also the type of person  that can hit   a home run   off of every curve ball thrown  at him.

he is the kind of person who already  knows who he is and what  he wants out of life.

he is firm in all of his beliefs, he knows where he will attend college,  he knows where he will be in  10 years  and he isn't afraid to grow up because he is already the  person he is meant to be.

 

i am not   like this  boy in any way.

i  have no clue where i will be   on this day, at this time in only one year. 

i don't know where i want to  go, or if i'll be able to keep going to church .

that's the  scary  thing about  senior year .

every other year i knew my bed would still be my bed in one year,  my  brother would still live in the next room a n d my dog would always lick  my hand when i tickled behind her  ears.

next year, it s very possible that none of those things could be my  reality anymore.

 

 i miss my childhood.

 i miss polly  pocket  dolls, and writing stories about my  dog who  was a superhero  in  my mind.

i miss Hannah Montana and i would give anything to not have to  worry about raising my act score.

 

those were the  days,

back when love was simple.

 i remember the first time i was in love; i was in the first grade and                   he said  "i love you" behind our pine tree at recess then i went home and wrote all about it on the first page of my  pink diary that had a lock on it to keep my wedding plans a secret.

 

back when everyone  could be friends and for some  reason  popularity  didn't really exist.

 

life was such a beautiful thing when  you   believed in everything and everyone.  

when your tears  could  be stopped  by  a chocolate chip  cookie  and  zits were just  a horror story  that  could never  happen to  you.

 

  so, in conclusion, even  though he is going to  go bald  he is stepping confidently into his future. i envy  him so  much as i'm being hurled down the long flight of stairs labeled "responsibility".