Best Friends with my Doubt est. 2014

This is a post about doubt.

I've been best friends with my doubt but sometimes friendship is only one way and while Doubt encircled me in possibility it stabbed my security in the back and kicked my foundation right out from under me. 

Doubt is the first grade crush that you out grow. So it's time to move on. To close the chapter of my life labeled with a big fat question mark. 

I'm making this decision and it's something I think I've known for a while.
Like the taste of blood on my lips, I've known. 

I've known this like you've known her insides and outsides. 

We decided the same thing but you've been leaving pieces of your foundation for people to see. It's permanently pressed into her mouth, tattooed across her hip bones and you traced out the words "Lord I Do Not Believe" on her chest. Searing her heart and seeping into her blood and when you said goodbye that's when we saw. You made her bleed. 

And this decision has made me bleed for far too long.