this was supposed to be about you
this is my heart.
it beats, 72 bpm.
my grandma had heart surgery friday morning because hers wasn't beating right anymore .
i was scared and i'm sure she was too.
i wore a sweater that said "love: what grandmas do best" because that was all my heart could think to do.
my puny, feeble heart thought that wearing this sweater would fix things and make God understand that i love my grandma.
my puny, feeble heart
broke
when i looked into your eyes and saw nothing but pain.
your heart is bigger than mine-bigger to feel more compassion and more love,
but also bigger to feel more pain.
the hurt radiates in every fiber that makes it up and gets pumped into every square inch of you.
you become pain.
in a way,
pain becomes you.
you didn't ask for this life or for that heart,
but it was given to you anyways .
they say that the strongest people always get the hardest challenges,
but has that ever actually made anyone feel better?
regardless, you've handled it.
you 've handled the pain and the feeling of an enormous heart breaking.
but you've had to drag yourself through alone.
i've forced you to do it alone though because i've been focused on my own feeble heart.
you broke my heart when you looked into my eyes and all i saw was pain .
this was supposed to be about you, but i didn't know how to help.
and, look, i'm still talking about myself.
it beats, 72 bpm.
my grandma had heart surgery friday morning because hers wasn't beating right anymore .
i was scared and i'm sure she was too.
i wore a sweater that said "love: what grandmas do best" because that was all my heart could think to do.
my puny, feeble heart thought that wearing this sweater would fix things and make God understand that i love my grandma.
my puny, feeble heart
broke
when i looked into your eyes and saw nothing but pain.
your heart is bigger than mine-bigger to feel more compassion and more love,
but also bigger to feel more pain.
the hurt radiates in every fiber that makes it up and gets pumped into every square inch of you.
you become pain.
in a way,
pain becomes you.
you didn't ask for this life or for that heart,
but it was given to you anyways .
they say that the strongest people always get the hardest challenges,
but has that ever actually made anyone feel better?
regardless, you've handled it.
you 've handled the pain and the feeling of an enormous heart breaking.
but you've had to drag yourself through alone.
i've forced you to do it alone though because i've been focused on my own feeble heart.
you broke my heart when you looked into my eyes and all i saw was pain .
this was supposed to be about you, but i didn't know how to help.
and, look, i'm still talking about myself.
that picture. woah. so powerful.
ReplyDeletei love this so much.
ReplyDeleteyoure incredible.
this is going to sound weird but i swear i remember someone wearing the shirt you described. can't remember who though, so you're safe. also this was amazing. the ending killed me
ReplyDelete"you become pain.
ReplyDeletein a way,
pain becomes you."
"this was supposed to be about you, but i didn't know how to help.
and, look, i'm still talking about myself."
I liked this a lot. Very truthful and easy to connect with. Which makes me want to read more.
I WANT TO QUOTE ALL OF THIS.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing.
the sledgehammer hitting the tv with the heart in it oh my gosh it got me so good.
ReplyDelete