i hear you

i hear the rattle of pills inside of the sickly orange bottle;
the shakes inside of you the first time you raised cool metal to the inside of you arm

i can hear the faint sound of blood and the incredibly loud beating of your heart.
i don't know if you cry; i did.

And i did again last night for you.
i tremble picturing you in a state of complete finality--i love you

i want to rearrange your scars to spell out the beat of you heart
and of mine
to remind you of December the Fifth and National Parks and how
you kept me home

maybe then your scars will read love instead of hate.

i hope you learn to not hate yourself so much.

i hope you remember that my arms
always have room enough for you.

you deserve all of that space.

let yourself take up space.

i love you, i hear you.