don't go that way

i have convinced myself that 102 will forever be more beautiful than 120--don't go that way.

maybe i need to fall in love with a warm boy with dyslexic hands. 

someone who has never heard of arizona. 

here i stand--5'3 in no socks. 

my body is itching to be read like braille by gentle hands that read every scar like a triumph and my collar bones like water

and he's dying of thirst. 

I wanted to be as tall as Her trees, but 

i just don't measure up.

i slip as much as i talk and when i talk i tremble and these ghosts aren't holding me up 

so i guess i'll sleep here for tonight. 

because i dream when i sleep and when i dream, i dream about red rocks and blue skin. 

surrounded by green latex, i feel so warm. 

i feel so safe with arms at my side. 

i don't know why i trust him the most with his hands around my throat. 

i guess it just gives me a reason for silence. 

my dreams are shifting now. 

and i don't recognize any of these faces to which i've grown so accustomed.