This Was an Expensive Poem

"you don't have to go, if you don't want to"
is the closest I've ever gotten to
"I love you"

and i fell asleep last night thinking that maybe i was going to hell
and even worse that maybe i was going nowhere.
and she fell asleep next probably thinking the same thing about me but not her and he was close but no cigar.
and now that you mention it, two am will always taste like him.

god you're so beautiful.
not God, just god.
because "if there is a god, he's a bastard."
no one who loves you would ever hurt you like this.
if this was a relationship, your friends would be telling you to run like hell.

any sad story sounds better if you pluck a guitar string as you say it
and she is a ball of regret but we just watched.
the morning is worse because the sun doesn't  always come out.

in my head, i mumbled these words into the side of your neck or breathed them into your heart but the gray painted stair rail will have to do.

2:17 and there it was.
look me in the eye
but i never looked at her, not even once.
four people and i can't even talk about you.
but you understand that this killed me.

"i dunno kid" and all down from there.

i love you.

this was a very expensive poem.