was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night

This is a post for all of the almosts. For the first night he almost kissed me, for the almost relationships, and for the people I've almost been, the people I've almost met, the things I've almost done. 

This is a post for all of the words that have been stuck in my head for so long that they've started pouring out of my ears and are getting tangled in my hair. 

This is a post to commemorate 9 months of knowing you, 3 months of missing you, and almost 1 month of being okay again. 

This is a post to talk about the feeling of your hand when it first touched mine. This is a post for the slow, deliberate movements your fingers made as they danced over my skin. 

This is a post to remember because everything is ending. 

This is a post without an expiration date because right now it's the only thing that could be infinite. Until I type the last word, this post never has to end. And this is the type of control I don't have over anything else. 

This is a post because I want someone to remember me and sometimes it fees like only God will remember but who is he anyways. 

This is a post as I'm listening to my heart start to feel again but the beat is stuttering and if we listen closely it's knocking on your door. 

This is a post because the entire world is sinking. But not everyone has realized that they are drowning. 

This post wants to talk about love; the problem with love. Broken hearts mutilate each other just trying to feel whole again but you won't find the right pieces. Because you can only be fixed by the one who broke you.

This is a post because I just read her words for you and I'm rolling them around on my tongue. 

This is a post to celebrate the knowledge that we will all fall back into place. With time. And life will continue on as if we never met each other, as if I never loved you. 

This is a post because some people make better memories.

This is a post I'm writing while listening to cold play and thinking about your hands. Two hands, strong hands, warm hands, helpful, broken, bleeding. My hands. 

This is a post mostly because of your hands.